As I am writing this, I’m currently in my second trimester (barely), and it feels like a world of a difference. The first few months were tough–definitely more difficult than I had anticipated. I had read books and articles that I thought were preparing me for having a baby, but the minute I saw the two pink stripes I drew a blank. I didn’t even know what the first thing to do was, let alone doing it in a foreign country. Looking back, I can definitely giggle about that, moment texting my friend saying, “I’m positive, now what?”
Google quickly became my best friend and my biggest nightmare—spending countless hours googling every slight symptom and food I was about to eat. Being diabetic also made me very anxious in the beginning. You always read about the horror stories, so quite quickly after finding out I was pregnant, I reached out to a few diabetics I knew that had recently given birth. They provided me with some tips and ease of mind before I was able to get a doctors appointment. I quickly downloaded the Bump app, which each day gave me a run down of what to expect to feel, what my baby was doing and relevant articles to read according to where I was in my pregnancy. This app is beyond amazing (though it’s definitely geared towards American testing, which is a bit different).
I thought I was ready for the nausea and exhaustion. It’s not uncommon for me to feel nauseous due to my history of migraines or an occasional high blood sugar, and I always prided myself on being able to function well with minimal sleep. Oh how I could not have been farther from the truth. This was a completely new game. Weeks 7-13 were the toughest. The never-ending nausea, the need for numerous naps a day, and just the overall feeling like I had been at a dive bar til 4 AM and woke up with smeared makeup on my face was just not fun. On top of that, I found it incredibly lonely. We had started sharing the news with our closest friends and parents and then as we saw fit in various social scenarios. While maybe some of it was in my head or people trying to be polite in giving us space when I wasn’t feeling my best, it felt like everyone disappeared. Many of our close friends live in other cities or were out traveling, and FOMO really set in for me. Even though I wasn’t feeling well, all I wanted was to stay busy to keep my mind from spinning with anxious thoughts. Fortunately, I was able to take some vacation time from work and spend it getting the house ready for the baby. And we all know I love a good organizing project.
I was also incredibly bloated and constipated, which made me just feel uncomfortable 24-7. I knew people said they felt uncomfortable in their pregnancy, but I had always assumed it was towards the end and not right from the start. I suppose during the entire pregnancy you may feel uncomfortable, it’s just what’s uncomfortable that changes.
While the first trimester was physically and mentally a bit rough, there were also a lot of moments of pure joy. I loved telling my best friends and family members. Due to Covid it was mainly virtual, but that also meant I could record their reactions. The scans were also amazing to see. So far we’ve had four (partially because I’m diabetic, and because I was anxious we also did a private scan). It’s incredible how quick the baby not only starts to grow but also to move. Call me naive, but it didn’t really occur to me that the baby moves until you feel it, but wow, was I wrong. He or she is practically an Olympic swimmer in there, and at 12 weeks was a stretching yoga machine. The ultrasound tech could also get it to move by pressing on certain parts of my stomach, which I thought was cute. These moments were surreal. I was lucky enough to have my husband come with me to three of the scans and one of my best friends came with me at my last when J couldn’t. It was incredibly special to share these moments with the two of them.
Now entering into my second trimester, I feel more excited than anxious and only a tad nauseous in the morning, which quickly disappears the moment I have breakfast. I have felt my energy start come back and am looking forward to learning the gender. I can’t believe I feel like we have just gotten started when in reality we’re over 1/3 of the way to meeting our little baby.
Some Q’s from you:
Are you moving?
Nope, or at least not in the foreseeable future. This summer (pre-pregnancy) we already started transforming our second bedroom into a space with more storage in preparation for one day expanding our family. It’s now going to be a nursery and my office combo. I’ll be sharing much more about this space in the next few months.
Any cravings?
Absolutely none. Which to be honest, I’m a bit annoyed about 😝 I expected to crave things like pickles (which I have never liked) but so far nothing.
Will your baby be an American or Danish citizen?
Both! Denmark passes citizenship through blood so since my husband is a Dane our baby will automatically be a Dane. And the same for it becoming an American. The US gives foreigners who have lived in the states for more than 5 years after the age of 14 citizenship to their children, though it does require us to fill out some paper work.
Do you know the gender?
Not yet! But we will soon. We have a a strong feeling but will find out soon and then share it with you all.
How far along are you?
I’m currently 15 weeks as I write this.
How does being diabetic affect the pregnancy?
Prior to TTC, I worked really hard making sure my diabetes management was top notch as good as I could get it. My doctors gave me an approval saying that my average blood sugar was in a safe range to begin trying.
The first few weeks after finding out I was having wild blood sugars and found it very stressful trying to regulate my blood sugars with all these new hormones (hormones, food, and exercise can all affect your blood sugar). Week 6-8 felt like an eternity waiting for my first appointment but I’m extremely fortunate that within the Danish health system they have a special department specifically for pregnant diabetics.
My first appointment was amazing. I met with “my team” which consisted of an OB, diabetes specialists, nurses, dieticians, and more. They did some extensive blood work and scans and they j’en set me up with a schedule of appointments every two weeks.
I now feel much much more at ease and calm. Each appointment we review all my data from the last week, adjusting my insulin needs accordingly.
They are seriously the nicest group of people I have met and are incredibly knowledgeable and reasssuring.
How does giving birth in Denmark work vs the US?
To be honest, I’ve never been pregnant in the US so I don’t really know exactly but in Denmark most women have 3 options. Home birth, hospital birth, or a birthing center (which is actually in the hospital but without the doctors. Though you’re right there in case of a complication).
In Denmark everyone pregnant woman also works closely with a midwife, which as an American I thought was more for home births. We will meet ours for the first time later this month.
I’ll be answering more of your questions in a later post so feel free to keep them coming especially about any of the cultural differences or being pregnant as an expat. I’ve really enjoyed connecting with other expecting moms and mom friends both from the US, Denmark, and else where in the world.
Loved reading your experience. I’m sorry you felt lonely and can empathize from my pregnancy in a pandemic experience.
Also… no one warned me the progesterone wreaks havoc on your gut and bloating. I put on 10 pounds by my first appointment. 😳