Why Date Nights Important When You’re a Newly Wed

If you’ve followed me for awhile over on Instagram, you’ve probably seen me share snippets from our Wednesday Night, Date Nights. I often get DM’s with messages saying things like “wow, so cute” or “so nice of Jesper to take you out” but the truth is, WNDN is something we have worked at and made a priority. Trust me when I say this, it’s a lot easier than it sounds. 

We’re coming up on one year of marriage (crazy, I know!!) so I wanted to talk about one of the things that I think makes a huge impact on making sure the spark is strong during your first year.

One of the best + most common pieces of advice we received was to make date night each week a priority. At first, we kept saying, oh lets maybe do this or maybe that, but the weeks would pass and we that realized date night was more often something we talked about rather than something we did. 

It might sound silly but we found setting up some guidelines for date night is what sets us up for success. And some ways on how we differentiate date night from just a normal night at home. Here’s our list to make sure we don’t let the hustle and bustle get in the way of your date nights:

1. Date night is always Wednesday from about 5-10pm

— the key here is consistency. Obviously this can vary slightly but it’s a general rule of thumb we follow. Let me explain. This allows us to easily know when not to schedule other social plans. It may seem surprising to have an ending time, but this has also played a huge role for success. Before our date nights just were open ended but then there was this pressure that if one wanted to watch a show the other didn’t or someone had work to do that it wasn’t okay because it was date night. Having an “end time” allows us to do our own thing before bed, which is also important in a successful marriage. (Having date night on a week night is important to us because on the weekends it was just too hard to be consistent—inevitably other social plans would come up.)

2. No phones

This one is pretty self explanatory but aside from loading Netflix, we try to stay off our phones during that 5-10pm time slot. So when you see me sharing from WNDN, it’s quite likely that it is actually after 10 😉 

3. Trade off the planning

Every week we switch who is in charge of planning what we do. This helps relieve the pressure on one person of having to plan everything. In reality we usually talk about what we both have in mind, but in the end whoever’s week it is gets the final say. 

4. Date night doesn’t mean fancy, but a little different

This is something we’ve started to master over time. In the beginning we always felt a pressure to go out and try a new fancy bar or restaurant. But let’s be real. It’s expensive to do that every week, and then when we did go out to celebrate a birthday or big life event, it didn’t seem as special. Now, it’s not uncommon for us to stay home for date night but we do like to change things up from our normal routine. This could be buying “fancy” deli meats from the the nice Italian super market for dinner, trying a new recipe over a nice bottle of wine, or playing a game. (Let me know if you’d like to see fun + affordable date night activities!)

No matter where you are in your relationship, prioritizing your undivided attention alone with your spouse is important (let me re-iterate: no cell phones!) The first year of marriage can present new challenges. so don’t forget to build in opportunities for strengthening your special connection. To all my upcoming brides this season, congrats! I’m so excited for you.